Suits, Ties, Dress Shoes, etc.

THIS POST IS IN PINK FOR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS.
There is somebody that I pray for that is battling it right now, so unlike most of the times when I'm being obnoxious, I'm using the font sincerely.

Anyways...as always I've based my posts on when I get motivation/people tell me I've been slacking with my posts.

I am glad I make a difference in your life, it makes me feel...

This post is dedicated to ****** (it's a secret)

A. SUITS

In Other words, you could think you look really fly, but yo girl could be thinkin you weird: 

1. Patterns: Do not go over the 2/3 rule: (no fool not the three-fifths compromise)

The Golden Rule: Start with a plain suit first if this is your primary suit, then you can get pinstripes and whatnot. 

The 2/3 rule is suit, tie, shirt. You dont want all 3 pinstripes, leave at least one solid. this is the same with checkers/squiglies/etc. You want to keep atleast one solid color in the 3. 

PERSONALLY, I don't go for squiglies unless you're an uncle...

so i'd say....stick to stripes/checkers with your ties. 

If you have patterns on all 3, it'll make you and others dizzy because that will clash. This isn't a tye dye shirt competition...

2. Fit

a. Slim Fit-For everybody who is like me and eats all day...sorry but you probably shouldn't be rockin that slim fit suit.

(no matter how much we yearn...it won't happen)

I went to get sized for my tux and as much weight as I've lost...sometimes your hips just don't lie. 

"Just because the waist fits, if yo thighs be tight and yo butt too big you just gotta go regular fit" -Me

"I can eventually fit into slim sit right?"

.....uhhh 

b. Regular Fit- This is what most people fit in. Your body fits to the American standards of a man's body, congratulations!

For you, I have no advice. just go buy it.

c. Suit Separates: 

If you're like me and you fit somewhere between regular and slim....this is the option for you. 

Reasons why I can't wear regular fit suits: 

My shoulders are too broad, my arms are too long, my butt is too big, my nose is too long, my lower body is longer than my upper body, my eyebrows are too thick.....

the list goes on....

Pros of suit separates: You might be able to get a decent fitting suit

Cons: somebody always takes the proper size of coat/pants that you want and you're always stuck with one or the other 

3. Color(s): If you don't have any proper fitting suits, start with a Plain black one before you venture out

B. Ties

Ties Golden Rule #1: Know how to tie a tie

Ties Golden Rule #2: One tie should be meant to go with one shirt

Ties Golden Rule #3: Your shirt color should match your tie, but they shouldnt both be solid exact colors, cuz then it'll look like you're not wearing a tie 

Unless you're SRK, you can't get away with this color combo

1. Type :refer to suits section. Stay away from swirls/squiglies on your ties. 

2. Wide/Skinny: This would seem obvious but...

a. if you're skinny wear skinny ties

b. if you're wide, wear wide ties....

jk, there's a little more to it.if you're skinny and have a improperly fitting suit and it's loose, I would go for a wide tie.

ALSO, wtf is up with those skinny ties where the bottom is like cut flat across the bottom? it looks like you've tucked ur tie into your pants..

3. Bow ties:

THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY.

Bow ties require a certain swagger/style. Even I don't possess this. You have to establish credibility with wearing bow ties...you can't just randomly wear one and expect it to be cool. 

I think face shape is also a factor in wearing a bowtie. My face is too circular and it isn't a good look on me.

Don't wear baggy shirts with bowties.

C. 

1. Size: I don't suggest ordering dress shoes online. It's not the same exact size as Tennis Shoes. 

Personally, I wear tennis shoes socks when I wear dress shoes (little trick learned frm my cuz, "Deep"...he prob doesn't read this though) it gives you a tighter fit and better grip when you walk

(it's safer to get bigger shoe since dress shoes tend to hurt after you wear them for a while)

2. Wide/Skinny Front

a. if your feet are wide, get wide front

b. if your feet are narrow, get narrow front

I have both though....

3. Color(s):

Yet again, get a pair of black shoes first. 

Brown shoes: Brown dress shoes are good, but depends on the color of your suit. Brown shoes go well with cream/white suit and even navy depending on the shade. 

This does not apply to all browns nor all creams/whites. So don't take this to the bank. 

Shoes feel like an afterthought until you find the perfect fit:

4. Socks: 

Not gonna lie...I was late to the  socks game. From what I've seen, as long as it matches your shirt/tie the pattern doesn't really matter. This is your chance to have fun. 

Your pants shouldn't be so high to show it so much, but it can show at a tasteful amount (it can show when you sit down, not when you stand)

AT THE END OF THE DAY....none of it matters unless you rock what you wear....

E. Damn, I didn't realize it's been 2 months.

What's been happening since my last post:

1. I'm on my 4th/7 rotations (I do actually go to school and don't just write blog posts haha)...is it May 2015 yet?

Everyday on rotations I feel like: 

2. Went to Las WEEGas and gained like 3% Body Fat

NOTHING else happened...

3. #Tennis Wedding (shoutout necessary)...my FIRST gig. Reviews were mostly positive. Also thanks to my assistant (who made the whole program late, JB haha) and to DP for hiring me.

YES THE LINK IS REAL...

(Photo creds to VK and JC)

4. I would trade places with this guy in a second:

See you guys in a month (1 year anniversary..time flies eh? I feel like I've only become more immature over the year) I'd like to hear what my fans (and haters) would like to see (comments on here/fb/in person)

~Pe@c3~ (only because this font reminds me of AIM

"I'm Following all your tips, but girls are still not throwing themselves at me...."

Sup guys, hope everyone enjoyed their summer (while I did not have one).




But, I'm not complaining because life could always be worse, and atleast the Rockets have Dwight Howard.

It's getting really hot in Houston, and I'm getting lazier about everything. I need somebody to hose me down with cold water just to stay hydrated 

 I have neglected the blog for a while, forgive me. 

So......I've noticed people only admit to reading and enjoying my blog when they are drunk. 

Heh

I was surprised after my last post, I did not receive threatening comments from girls. I guess that means either girls believe in my fashion advice,

OR girls just don't read my blog

(WHO ARE WE KIDDING WE KNOW IT AIN'T THIS)

Once again "DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MAINLY MY OPINIONS, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL, GIRRRRLLL"

I ACTUALLY FORGOT TWO COMMENTS regarding FASHION....

1. Headbands

Type A: I get it, you're a hipster....

and then.............

Type B: I get it, you're.....the queen of Egypt?

NO


NO, just....don't

2.Midriff showing dresses/ short top and placing skirt at a distance (i don't even know sometimes if it's one dress or ur just pulling ur skirt down to show some midriff.

whatever the hell this is or something like it:

IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF FEMALE SAGGING?

Okay, I get it if you have abs and a belly button piercing or something, but some girls got it just up above their breasts. I'm just not a big fan

These are the only midriff revealing dresses that should be worn, just look at these hunnies:

ANYWAYS before I get killed

As usual I like to address the concerns of the critics of my blog

 (I appreciate the love though, I'm here for you)

"Groominguru, what do you know about picking up girls?"

I guess you're right, only aunties love me. 

BUT I have watched a lot of movies and done a lot of research. 

With that being said....

"GROOMINGURU, I'M FOLLOWING ALL YOUR ADVICE BUT I'M STILL NOT PICKING UP GUYS/GIRLS"

Mainly, you want them to look at you like :

But all you're getting is: 

Then there are the critics that are like "uhh groominguru i be gettin guys/girls by doin the EXACT OPPOSITE of your advice.....and to that I say:

(except I'm being 17 times more sarcastic)

My Response (in list form for you to better follow).

1. I did not promise that you would pick up guys/girls. 

In our society, we are so used to having things handed to you 

That is not happening here, get yourself out there.

2. I'm a stern believer in:

look good =feel good= do good

Sometimes, you just gotta have confidence. If you are properly groomed, you got one less thing to worry about.

3. Timing/Preparation

You must always be prepared. God has a schedule for everything, just be ready to make a move (with your properly groomed/dressed self when homegirl look at you like: 

Ending Tidbits:

August 15th: The Assumption of Mary and Indian Independence Day.

As a Catholic, we are misperceived as worshipping Saints/Mary.

We all just need a little bit of help, so we pray for intercession.

INDIA

I'm proud of my country and their hardworking ways, these kids in poverty will become a success with their driven mentality. 

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE MAINLY MY OPINIONS, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL, GIRRRRLLL

So my next blog being about GIRLS fashion/grooming etc. was promised in my last post. My fans (all 7 of you) felt it would be an interesting read, and so I decided I would keep my promise.


Before you start attacking me

READ MY DISCLAIMER, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL

I guess your first thoughts are

"Oh of course this guy is at home on a Saturday night...he's a loser that just writes his opinion on girls when he can't even get one"

Guilty as Charged I'm currently sittin on my butt writing this....alone

But you're also reading it so........

(didn't think I'd go there, eh?)

ALL IN GOOD FUN haha.........

ANYWAYS

WHERE TO BEGIN?

I guess we'll start from the top and go down?

I. Hair

Hair is quite important. Luckily, it's something that's RELATIVELY changeable, unlike other physical features. 

That being said, it also really depends what kind of face shape, etc. you have to truly comment on this. So I will not comment on this too much.

MY thoughts:

1. Natural hair color is the way to go

2. I'm not a fan of this "ombre" fad. It looks like a horse tail to me. Also it means "man" in Spanish...ARE YOU A MAN? (that shit was so lame)

3. Bob cuts-tread lightly my friends. Not everyone is 

4. WTF is this?

I'll end with my hair general rule: If you trying something new, make sure you don't have a big event right after to debut it. Give yourself time to re-grow your hair so you can fix whatever you just did.

II. EYEBROWS

Ah, we always come back here don't we? 

This is VERY critical. 

Your eyes define you, and your eyebrows define your eyes. Therefore your eyebrows define you. 

TIPS:

1. Get yourself a hand mirror so you can look REAL close at them brows.

2. PLUCK/THREAD..........or wax to a smaller degree. I'm not a BIG fan of waxing, but do what u gotta do girl.  

OBVIOUSLY, do NOT shave your eyebrows. Because 

a) if you mess up it tends to be a bigger mess up than accidentally plucking 1 eyebrow hair.

b) you'll grow those small pesky eyebrow hairs

c) you'll have to shave more and your skin will look dry

d) you might cut yourself.

3. EYEBROW SHAPE

OH LAWD....THE SHAPES I HAVE SEEN. 

You can't go TOO THIN and you can't go TOO THICK (this doesn't just apply to eyebrows either, naamsayn?)

Please, stay away from the arches and the pencils. Get it together girl.

III. Makeup 

TAKE HOME LESSON: LESS IS MORE

Homegirl saw her makeup and got scared...

1. Dark girls: Don't wear too light of color ESPECIALLY foundation...we can look at your neck and tell you ain't that light.

2. Light girls: you don't have to ALWAYS match your eyeshadow with your clothes...especially really dark stuff like maroon. Your eyelids look bruised

3. All Girls: Can we move away from this Red Lipstick phase? We get it, you're wearing lipstick.

Guys don't want a mouthful of makeup when they do this, so act accordingly.

IV. FASHION

Well, what can I say? This is an ever changing subject.

......

Guess I made my point.

This high waisted "contraption" is a DISSERVICE. MY POINTS ON THIS ARE COPIED FROM THIS WEBSITE/ARTICLE ALL CREDIT TO THEM. 

(http://totalfratmove.com/why-girls-should-stop-wearing-high-waisted-shorts/)

REASONS TO BE ANTI-HIGH WAISTED SHORTS:

1. Only Supermodels Look Good In Them

2. They Make Great Asses Disappear

3. They Remind Us Of Our Grandmothers

What happened to a good old-fashioned salwar for my Indian homegirls?

But, I Digress.

FASHION YESes: 

1. Properly fitting properly waisted jeans

2. Sun Dresses (only 3 inches above knees applies)

3. Cardigans

4. This list sucks

V. SHOES/FEET

This is just reiterating some points from my past blog.

Main thing: Cut your toenails, clean your fungi, get them hairs dealt with on your feet.

Also, Boots are cool but not with shorts, that's weird to me. 

Lastly....

DON'T WEAR HEELS IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO...

THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS ONLY

PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED 

RIP to one of the 5 most beautiful women to grace this earth, my Ammachi. She could rock the chatta and mundu. I'm glad I came across this GIF today haha

ALL OF YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL keep rockin' like these aunties

Peace