THE MOTHER OF ALL BLOG POSTS

Halo guys im back...

I know some people have waited for my next blog post for some time.

 I was too busy studying 

 (that's exactly how I study).

Anyways, my blog isn't as popular as I'd like it to be. Normally I don't care what people think...but I guess I should listen to my subscribers if I want to become a famous blogger/Pharmacist.

I've received many suggestions to show how to shape/shave my beard. And im like bro....Am I your father to teach you how to shave?

Then I realized my dad never taught me how to shave. He also hasn't given me "the talk" but that's for a different blog.....

That's when I was like...whatever I'll video tape this. I took a short clip and I found out my video skills suck. It looked something like this: 

So it turned into Selfies. (Thank you snapchat for helping me perfect my skills).

I GUESS IF U DIDNT WANT TO READ MY MUSINGS AND ONLY WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO SHAVE YOU COULD JUST START READING FROM HERE...

I'm using the "look-away" technique. I've mastered this over the years since I'm shy.

I grew my beard out for like a week (yeah I know I'm a werewolf, etc.) 

I know my beard is getting long when my mom starts saying "you look like a bum" I don't push it too far after that cuz then I'll get my ass beat.

Onto the meat of the story... This is my main trimmer.

It's meant for hair on head but safe for your face. Wahl T Trimmer.

It plugs into the wall, I suggest You find one as such. The wireless ones aren't dependable in my experience. This will give you crisp lines. It takes some practice though, so be ready to adjust if you don't use clippers much.

 this is my shaving cream. even if your face isn't sensitive, I suggest getting sensitive shaving cream.


















this is my razor. I use disposable because my face breaks out if I use the same blade twice. Even if yours doesn't, it's best to use a fresh blade. Razors arent like wine, they don't get better with age. I'm not a fan of electric razors.

When I teach my son to shave (and about multiplication) it will be with a disposable razor (and a...well I think he can teach himself about multiplication).

It only has two blades (closest thing to a single blade which gives you the best shave). Those 3 & 4 blade razors are a gimmick.













This is what you spray your clippers with after you use it. It keeps your blades clean/lubricated/and 3 other things. (5 in one, idk what the other 3 are...just buy it).

This is the brush to take out the hairs from your clippers.

 After shave (don't be an idiot and not use this).

Secondary clipper (wireless) this is only for frivolous cuts and shaping.

Anyways....now for a somewhat step-by-step.

First: Use Wahl clipper to shave off neck beard.

Ain't nobody need a neckbeard...except MY HOMEBOI:

 This is the setting I put on my clipper. How short you want ur beard is up to you. Try different lengths and see what suits you.

This is after I trimmed straight through.

Using the clippers, make an outline of the shape you want your beard to have.
BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR CUTS OR ELSE YOU WILL MESS UP..

THIS ALSO TAKES PRACTICE SO DONT BE TRYIN THIS ON YOUR WEDDING DAY..

I'm used to my clipper so I can make a curved cut like so. Don't try this your first time. Only do straight lines.










Now you are ready to use regular razor to shave..

Shave under  neck first, and along the outlines you have made. It seems simple but be careful and don't rush

Two shots of final product. 

MAJOR Notes: 

1.I used secondary trimmer to cut out under lip/chin area.

2.I used secondary trimmer to trim off the mustache hairs hanging over top lip.

3. Get your hair blended at the sideburns when you get a haircut.

4. Don't buy a cheap trimmer, I think this cost like $40.

5. BE CONFIDENT and take your time.

It's time I let one of my secrets out...

My secret weapon...

I Mess up A LOT with my beard. Nobody is perfect. When those times arise however, I use a permanent marker (or eye-liner) to "connect the dots".

Honestly, if your face looks good clean-shaven like this guy...

YOU PROBABLY SHOULD JUST CLEAN SHAVE....

Good Night.

Growing Pains/Re-iterate Eyebrows Focus

As was expected, I've received a lot of feedback with my burst onto the blogging scene. Up until now, my thoughts were mainly transmitted through racially insensitive comments, random bouts of aggression, and jokes that I would think of at inappropriate times.

But I always knew I was meant to blog. Ever since my days at xanga.com/invinciblemalu89 and also my AIM "away messages" I knew my blurbs were meant to be viral and inspirational to the world.

Coupled with my facial hair/general grooming skills and all my research on askmen.com as well as GQ India, I truly feel I can make a difference in peoples' lives.

I guess everybody has haters, this is the only response I have to them:

But, the show must go on. The people that really need tips will eventually ...

I guess I'm obsessed with Bollywood....

Also some people refused to read my blog since there wasn't enough "color" and there was only words. Being a well-established writer, I feel that I should be able to use words only to get my thoughts across, but I guess this is how society works. 

Back to the point. 

My focus on eyebrow grooming seems to have been lost among the shuffle of my blog. The correct grooming of eyebrows does not make you less of a man. It shows you have steady hands and you aren't too lazy to be a good husband/boyfriend. Also, it will allow you to do shit like this: 

Imagine doing that with bushy eyebrows or a unibrow....

This is a good video on how to fix it up: 

Bye

No Shave November

This is my first blog post.

It is November, so a lot of people like to take part in "No shave November" so of course a lot of people will do this incorrectly. 

If you are wondering, I don't partake in the festivities...

Reasons for not partaking:

1. my mom gets mad. 

2. whenever I grow out my beard uncles and aunties at church ask if I'm sad. 

3. It wouldn't be fair to the vast majority of men to be overshadow their full month's work in one week.

4. I'm a healthcare professional (jk, i dont care bout dat).

I'm studying for an exam, so I'll keep my No Shave November tips short.

1. Just cuz ur growing ur beard out all scruffy doesn't mean you shouldnt take care of your eyebrows. You want all the focus to be on your beard, not on your bushy ass eyebrows. (and dont wax it either...just pluck it or shave it).

2. If you randomly get a white/brown/different color than your beard hair, pluck it.

3. Comb your beard for beard health and aesthetics. 

I mainly only wanted to mention the first point, but all lists need at least 3 points.