Groomin Guru

Groomin Guru

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Brexit-ing From My short Hiatus

Sup mothaf*kaz (SKIP THIS IF YOU DONT GIVE A SH*T ABOUT MY LIFE AND LEAVE MY FEELINGS HERE TO DIE):



So what's been happening the past 2 months?

1. Rockets lost, Cavs won (Steph Curry is a fake good boy, I respect his outspokenness of his faith, but just be a fuckin' douche bag for real instead of covering it up). Dwight Howard opted out now we shall sign.................all the free agents

2. It continues to get hot AF in Houston
Like for real....stop. 
I physically have not been able to bear the heat to go out for a run in the past month and a half. The lbs are piling on. I guess this is the only reason why people would want to not live in Houston. But I won't get sick from the heat as opposed to polar vortexes in NY, Boston, etc. The only place I'd consider is Florida (I see no point in paying state taxes) seeing as how I wouldn't be able to afford living in California.

3. Started a new job
I've been seing young folks taking sabbaticals from work and starting out slow, etc. So I dabbled with the idea of taking some time off between jobs, but then I realized
The positive side: I can now tell aunties and uncles where I work. Before when I told them I worked for an insurance company they would get really confused and say "I thought you were a pharmacist" I hope you're happy with my answer now.


4. People have increasingly been askin' me if I know that I'm weird


Yes, I kinda knew that, but that's not my issue here.
First of all, you telling me, or you telling anybody that they're weird doesn't help any of the involved parties.

Second of all, I didn't beg you to talk to me.

Third of all, just cuz you don't understand my sarcasm doesn't mean I'm not a functional being of society (my taxes is payin' for many people to take advantage of the system and benefit from social services while driving a Mercedes and I'm here pushin' this '09 Camry).....It's almost election time be wary of my blog topics trending BUT I DIGRESS.

**START HERE IF MY LIFE IS OF NO IMPORTANCE TO YOU**


I. Scrubs 

A. Gender equality eh?


So the few scrubs I bought for rotations the color didn't matter, so I just bought whatever was on sale. Now that I have to wear a specific color (touched on later), it's slightly harder to shop for scrubs. 

Make that EXTREMELY harder for men. You walk into the store and 99.9% of the store is women's scrubs with these different neck styles and sh*t. And there's like two things for men in the whole store. And they're considered "unisex" at that. 



The cheap ones suck, my brand of Choice is Dickie's but they're kinda expensive (for me atleast, maybe you a balla and it's cheap for you).


i. I will be starting my own line of scrubs for men called McSteRamy Men's Line (added an R for copyright issues). The fact that there's a "Grey's Anatomy" line of scrubs pisses me off. It's overpriced for no reason.

ii. Why are the necks so damn low? We have to wear an undershirt at all times anyway it's not like the girls are rocking that Low V either at work (or I hope they're not).

Which reminds me of that time during my rotations my preceptor told me to scrub up one day out of the blue when I wasn't wearing an undershirt....So I had to do this....
Yes, that is a piece of paper that I stapled to the inside of scrubs....

iii. The cut of the pants are made for a woman's curves, not a man's body. Only get elastic pants with zippers. It's such a pain to untie and retie especially when using the urinal cuz they fall when you untie them.

B. Seal Blue, Seal Blue.....Ciel? Blue

i. First of all, who actually knew this shit was called Ciel blue?


Second of all, this is THE MOST worthless Piece of shit color to have scrubs for in the medical field. Every time I wash my hands and shake to dry (I don't have time to slowly walk to dry my hands thanks to the ever changing Medical/Health Insurance marketplace which did not create more jobs, but created more work for existing jobs), the water droplets show up on my scrubs (my cheap ones and not so cheap ones) and looks like I Pissed myself.

ii. I mean I'm a pharmacist, I can only imagine the plight of  nurses (do y'all wear this color?), etc who deal with large amounts of bodily fluids.

iii. Only dark colors should be used for scrubs.
As usual this is an Anti-Dark Shaming Blog


iv. Scrubs can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. If you been putting on some weight, it will be easily covered up. Hide behind your shame....

Until you get home and change into actual clothes.

We should all aspire to be cute like our homegirl

II. Shoes for work


A. Yeah I know these kicks ain't fly....but you gotta try them on. I speak from experience of other shoes, and as somebody who is on their feet for work the whole time, this is as good as it'll get.The downside is they look like you're getting ready to walk into the nursing home, not the club.

B. For years when I worked at CVS, I tried different shoes, the lightweight ones were the worst. Tried different insoles, and finally when I was working there as a pharmacist pulling 13hr shifts (can I just marry rich?) I bought some insoles for $50. This did the job for a while, but they are nothing compared to these San Antonio Shoemakers shoe. 

C. These are not cheap however. I could have bought 2-3 decent shoes to have in rotation, but you gotta spend money to make money in this country (Texit coming soon?). Luckily they were my mum's recommendation so she didn't yell for wasting money. 

D. Other shoes I've heard recommended for those on their feet for hours: Dr. Scholl's shoes themselves (or the custom insoles where you stand on the machine and tell you which to wear which is what I used for a while), Rockports, and Dansko/Clogs (I think they're sexist too). 


III. Summer Shred



A. Where to begin....you get home from work, take a nap, and don't feel like getting up.

The things worth having do not come to those who wait around for it. You gotta get up and go get it.

B. Things I have touched on before:

i. Plan your meals, take your lunch to work. This not only will help you with your diet, but it will also help your wallet. If you've already brought your lunch, you're less likely to go out to eat, or won't have to fight the urge to buy something unhealthy in the cafeteria. Leave out all the guess work by planning and bringing your meals which gives you more time to actually eat your food, as well as to exercise. 

ii. Say no to your friends to go out and eat (here's lookin at you J & J tryna ruin mine and each other's lives with delici. Read the restaurant's nutritional info online. This is the biggest reason why many of my followers are not losing weight. They continue to go out to eat things that are extremely high in fat. 

iii. Go exercise you lazy bum. In Galveston a man had two legs cut off because of flesh-eating bacteria (what the media told you), but he also had..........


IV. Faith-based relationships 

If this white girl can respect yo Hindu faith, so can the man/woman you been courtin'


A. I recently started following this page on FB called Godly dating 101 and these were some posts that spoke to me, as well as was something I felt would be beneficial for my followers (yeah i still have followers) who have asked me for advice:
You deserve everything that you wish for. 

B. Your Dream man/woman Will come when it is time. It's easier said than done, but wouldn't you rather wait and get somebody like this 

instead of settling for this 



V. Miscellaneous thoughts I've had:

1. If you are a girl that's single trying to impress suitors and you don't have a profile picture that's worthy of somebody commenting about how you're "slaying" you need to upgrade your profile picture.

2. Far too many of my followers are sad that they're single/broken up from a toxic relationship. This makes no sense to me. Why were you happier being sad?

3. Will Texas secede from the union? What are the implications of Brexit? Neh

Holla atchaboi with your comments/suggestions/advice for how to get your mind right for summa shred.


Fin.