SKIP THIS SECTION IF YOU ARE A SELFISH POS AND DONT CARE ABOUT MY LIFE:
who are we kidding, i know all 37 of you that actually read do care.
September-Hot
I feel like it has been hotter than usual this year, but I prefer that over cold.
October-Hot and went to Jamaica
Jamaica was relaxing, of course it was not long enough. But i prefer short 3-4 day trips since it allows me to not get too caught up in being gone and have to re-adjust too much after returning to the real world. Jerk chicken was awesome, weather turned out to be good, and good company of course.
Went to mass there as well. It was an interesting experience as the mass was in english, but the community is very close and they all know each other which was refreshing to see. The open air church and the camraderie reminded me of church in India, where everybody knows each other and fans are the source of cooling.
November-Hot/Birthday:
So I hit the big 2-7. In many cultures (especially my own), I guess I shoulda been married with 2 kids by now, but YOLO. I received many blessings on my birthday in terms of reminders that I am lucky to have my health, loving parents and sister, as well as means of living. Also something is in the works for potential future success but that is TBD at the moment.
December-Warm/Christmas/Boston:
Went to boston for my Boy's Bachelor party. I have no idea how people live in the northeast, or anywhere north of Texas for that matter. it was windy and cold as balls (literally, i had to buy tights).
It was sunny outside, and this lake was frozen so.....yeah.
I had to wear this everyday
Also I didn't wear that wardrobe inside the Masjid. Side Note: Muslims are cool and their fellowship is nice to see.
January-
and here we are...new year new you eh?
START HERE IF YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND IMPROVING IT AT THE EXPENSE OF NOT CARING ABOUT MY LIFE, ETC.
I. New year: As always, the new year is a time to reflect on the year that has passed, while looking forward towards the future. I know people tend to put fitness as a top priority which pleases me
but spiritually, emotionally, as well as having more meaningful relationships with your friends, co-workers, and family is something we should all strive for. A lot of our relationships are superficial, and that is seen today in the modern ages where little children are not taught to socialize but are just stuck to phones and other electronics while in the midst of others.
call me old fashioned, but I am scared of the new generation that doesn't play outside in their driveway, or socialize with their peers.
That being said, I want to be part of your fitness journey if you are embarking on one. These may be useful links (among other old posts): Link 1 Link 2 Link 3, or as always feel free to holla (except on IG, im not cool enough for IG)
Which brings me to the title of the blog....I guess I'm not 30 yet, but every year after 24 and you're not married your parents look at you like you're 30. Then when you do turn 30, they look at you like you're 40.
Also yes, I am an immigrant although born in the US my upbringing and culture is mostly Indian, as I deal with the struggles of Indians living in America not An American.
II. Dealing with parental pressures of getting married
So I have a pretty open relationship with my parents. We joke, laugh, I curse around them, they know where I go who I'm with and what I do (for the most part). That being said I know alot of my peers who do not have the luxury of such a relationship, as well as others who's parents are a lot "cooler" with certain situations than mine are.
But there are certain ways with dealing with this "issue" of marriage which is given more importance than it maybe needs to by my culture, society in general, and other cultures as well.
First and foremost....they don't like when you joke about not getting married, putting it off, etc. So the main thing is to avoid that because it just doesn't work
A. Are you even trying bro?
this is the main way in dealing with the "pressures" at the end of the day, our parents want to know that we are at least open to the idea of marriage, or that we are trying to make it work with a potential somebody.
They love you, and for the most part will be okay with your valid reasonings for not wanting to marry somebody, but if you are just not trying at all (effort), then that ain't gon fly.
Apathy is NOT the best policy.
B. Are you gay bro?
I know you may see this as me joking/making fun of the LGBTQ community, but it is far from that. I have many close friends in the community and this is a very real issue especially in my culture. We are just getting used to this type of living. And the reality is some people put off marriage talks or just stay single forever because they are too afraid to admit/realize that they are more attracted to the same gender.
At the end of the day, if your parents really love you, they will be happy if you are happy. Now, I do know examples of parents who still do not accept their children's wishes, but is it worth getting a divorce and being miserable versus following your heart?
C. Are you just picky bro?'
I have been called picky for 27 years and there have been times where I thought maybe I should change my stance on certain things, but I've realized my stance on certain things goes much deeper as to who they are as a person.
Also, I keep hearing people say "he/she is weird" im like...wtf is "weird", bit** you're weird too...
It's time society grows up and stops caring about being so politically correct all the time (take note from our leader, DT). If you ain't attracted to a chick man the fu** up and jus say it, if she too fat, too fair skinned, too skinny....man up B.
This leads me to:
i. Attainable vs Untrainable standards
My boi SRK and bollywood in general has given us certain "desires" which we need to understand may not necessarily be attainable.
First suggestion: Making lists of traits that are required from your future partner that are non-negotiable then make a separate list of traits that CAN be learned or adapted to (trainable).
Second suggestion: Burn said lists from above.
At the end of the day, you need to be able to discern things that are attainable and feasible (you most probably will not get SRK as sad as that sounds)
and things that you can HOPE for your partner to learn (trainable).
After you are able to discern them, be at peace with it. After that, understand who you are and realize your actual needs. you get to a point where you truly just realize WHAT REALLY MATTERS AND WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN A DUDE/DUDETTE
self realization is required for you to get here.
ii. Keep up with the times:
a. Many times ppl have told me (yo it's 2016, do you think you'll be able to find a chick that is willing to ___ or hasn't had ___?)
I will not fill in the blanks because it might make some self conscious. Also these are just things that I may be looking for and it shouldn't be taken as a negative.
But to answer their questions....yes I have found ones, but it hasn't worked out for other reasons so...
Realize what things are attainable in these times, whether it's truly a hard stop or necessity, and then move on, but you have to make peace with yourself that you will hold out for the hard stop.
iii. Do you even understand your parents desires bro?
a. Try to find the middle ground with them first on what you want/they expect from you.
realize that they want what they feel is best for you. on the surface it might seem the things they want are trivial, but at the root there are reasons for their thinking. try to understand that instead of writing them off completely.
b. People scoff at the idea of going international to find their spouse
technology is so advanced that such relationships are common and feasible. Keep your eyes and heart open to any and all opportunities instead of being stubborn.
Also people are like "man they just won't understand our culture"......You know the USA/the world is a huge melting pot right? Get with the program bud.
iv. Do you really have to get married bro? (you didn't hear this from me)
a. Marriage isn't for everyone. You can live a completely fruitful life without being married.
Oprah, Leondardo Da Vinci, Salman Khan....the list goes on.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't try. But it comes down to understanding who you are.
Also in the church there is a place for service (you don't have to be a nun/priest) for those unmarried. Think of all the time you can spend teaching children the faith,
At the end of the day: Pray, pray, pray. Live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy
Many times I see people who are 24 and such getting married which I do not understand AT ALL, but that does not mean it is wrong either.
If you are 26+ and getting worried about your married life by looking at them, then YOU are the one that is in the wrong. Use that time to learn a new skill, travel the world, invest in yourself. This is your opportunity to find yourself. It is much harder to find yourself after you get married and by then you will be married with 3 kids, and if your marriage hits a rough patch you will feel lost and in despair.
Timing is something that is not in your hands at all, no matter how hard you try, it's not like a bowel movement you have in your grasp and you can just make that extra push to make it come out. Your man/woman will come when the time is right.
Random Tidbits:
Rockets...holy cow James Harden for MVP. 53-17-16....let's get it
Dangal-Interesting movie very inspiring. However, Aamir Khan has had better movies, but that's more a testament to how good his other movies were and not that this was a bad movie.
The blog topic for today was straight up from 2 of my fans, I encourage this behavior.
I am going to India. No I will not come back married. Engaged? Perhaps.
JK going for cousins wedding and to buy jubas/kurtas
Bye
