Grooming, etc. Tips From One Hairy Fellow: May 2014

Don't Cry guys...

I'm Back.

WHAT BRINGS YOU BACK GROOMINGURU?

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN (it was like 3 people) BUT STILL THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

I appreciate the appreciation (I'm not big on grammar) of my blog. I've had enough requests as well as some motivation to give y'all some love as my summer begins.

and to the haters....

Anyways.....I'm back. I figured since the Rockets are not playing (Damian Lillard, I wish you a fruitful career in the NBA, but I hope you get destroyed in each and every playoffs from now on. And I hope this commercial comes true...NO RINGS BOI, unless you get traded to the Rockets of course...

Cavs #1 Pick again? I'm trying to think the NBA is not rigged but it's almost as fake as this sequence

Jeez....come on they lost Lebron, they got enough #1 picks. What did we get for losing Yao? Nothing.

ACTUAL GROOMING TIP AND NOT B.S. RIGHT HERE

Uhh.... so. During finals, of course I didn't shave. It should not be an excuse to look like a hobo

this goes for the ladies too, treat yoself....to a threading (oh sue me...)

So, my tips on how to keep from being called a terrorist (especially for my indian brothers), hobo, etc. It's VERY simple.

Get yourself a pair of small scissors

These are meant for moustaches.

IF YOU USE BIG SCISSORS THAT ARE FOR PAPER, YOU WILL CUT UR LIP OFF AND LOOK LIKE U HAVE CLEFT PALATE.

sorry.

Use these to cut the hairs hanging over ur lip. (upper lip, if they all up on your bottom lip, cut that too).

These are also handy for those pesky long nose hairs.

SUMMER FACIAL HAIR TIPS:

Once again, if you're too lazy, don't have enough time, already have a girlfriend so don't need to impress with cool facial hair styles: CLEAN SHAVE.

At the very least, you can get girls to feel ur smooth face like this:

I think the last time my face was that smooth, I was in my mother's uterus.

SUMMER FEET/SHOES:

So, folks want to wear flip flops/sandals and the such during summer.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE:

1. Cut your toe nails

2. Clean your dirty toe nails

3. Get some antifungal if it's fungus up in that nail and not just residual from socks

4. If your toes are that bad, wear some socks

5. If your feet are extremely hairy, consider trimming/shaving whatever (if you followed my advice to trim your leg hairs in the first place, this is a must)

6. Cut your toe nails

7. Clean your dirty toe nails

Yeah, some things need to be reiterated as such.

8. (this is kinda harsh, if you're sensitive don't even read this): some people just got ugly feet (you know who you are)

There are many reasons for this

a. toes could be too chubby (this doesn't mean YOU yourself are fat either)

b. toes could be too skinny (this doesn't mean YOU yourself are skinny either).

c. your toe nails are just beyond repair (damaged/lack of actual nail/fungus:refer above)

d. one of your feet are bigger than the other (no explanation)

IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THESE RULES, MAYBE FLIP FLIPS AREN'T FOR YOU.

"Groominguru, you're so mean" I'm sorry, I usually wear slip ons with sandals. You can still lead a perfectly good summer life without wearing flip flops.

SCHOOL/BLURBS

I've been gone for a while. Let's just say...this semester has taken a toll on me. At the end I was just like........

Luckily, God pulled some miracles for me, and I made it through

(thanks to St. Anthony also....there's a reason I got my grades back on a Tuesday)
(This is also a reminder to not be afraid to profess your faith, in whatever medium)

After my finals, I just slept....