I know you've been constantly calling and texting me to get back on the blog
Let's just say working sucks. My job is very busy, customers are always mad, and impatient. Flu season is rough. But that isn't even the problem.Working full time means growing up and having responsibilities.
Also since I'm Indian that means.....it's time to get married
That ain't happening anytime soon since all I care about is what my next meal is
SO...I pondered and I pondered what my next topic would be...
I thought back on my shenanigans during Pharmacy School. Needless to say people were annoyed that I was never serious and still passed.
Ya know wearing a tux shirt for shits and giggles
and wearing ma mothaf*kn purple pants
So I decided to make a short list on:
HOW TO BE A DOUCHE (OR HOW NOT TO; BY DOING THE OPPOSITE)
I. Wear Clothes Nobody Else Would Even Consider wearing
This is probably the easiest way to be a douche. Fashion has evolved and continues to do so. Especially with Instagram models (from what I hear, I'm still not cool enough....(is instagram.com/groominguru89 available? somebody let me know) and Youtube sensations it's so easy to see and create new fashion trends. Word of advice: don't throw any of your out of fashion clothes away. These fashions tend to somehow come back.
Except this just throw that necklace away man
and this
and these omg
why are girls wearing these things to WEDDINGS?
Anyways, I should stop before I punch my screen
My favorite though, is scarf season.............IT'S UPON US....KINDA
II. Exude extreme confidence/Be Happy With your Life/Don't give a sh*t what others think about you
The most annoying thing that people hate is when you are happy with your life. Confidence is contagious. The world is filled with a LOT of negative people. I am cynical, however I am not negative. A lot of people are selfish these days, and if you are confident in yourself and happy with your life, they will hate you.
Be careful though, people will be jealous and try to take you down, but don't fret.
Or you know, grow a moustache just for kicks
III. Work hard and succeed
If you work hard, you will get rewarded. There are enough resources for you to do well. The American Government hands out money to almost everybody. So if you need money to create a start up business in something random like
"Build your own pizza"
The Man Bra
Or a bakery that only sells muffin tops
Go get yourself money to do so.
(Seinfeld>all I don't care what you think)
Get money for school, plane tickets, whatever the government does not care. Make use of those tax dollars.
IV. Make your mum/parents proud
Don't do this to mum.....
If you have no motivation at all, at least do it for your parents. Especially us immigrant children should know what they went through to give us the opportunities we had. Don't waste it and...
Bottom Line: DON'T BE A DOUCHE
Random Tid-Bits:
1. How is everyone's weight loss going? There's only a few people checking in with me, if you have specific things that are keeping you from improving, holla I've been through most of them and maybe I can help.
You are a beast, remember that
2. Watched Meet the Patels. (SPOILER ALERT)
It was a documentary about an American-born Indian who was thinking about marriage. He was with a white girl "gora/anglo" then something made him think it wouldn't work out.
As I was watching I'm like....is this shit about me?
3. Flu shots: I guess you can say I'm into fat chicks..........JK just for flu shots. Gave 100 shots to the elderly at a flu clinic in 4 hours. It was crazy and I've never seen so much folded skin. But it made me realize that I wish I got to spend time with my grandparents who died relatively young. Also, nursing homes are sad. I hope to God that I am able to take care of my parents and not have to subject them to such a situation. But it was interesting to hear their conversations (most complaining about their ex-husbands and wanting to kill them)
and it was also odd getting hit on (I guess I've been shooting too low age-wise in the 23-25 range I should holler at the 60+)
Also go get your flu shot before you get sick....I just got mine today
4-Strain Coverage, chyeahknow
3. Rockets are Looking Good, Astros playing well in playoffs, Texans...Mother F*ck*n.....
For this being a football town it's unacceptable to be this bad. There is no reason to not change the GM for the past few years, but for some reason we are too conservative ownership-wise (what happened to the typical crazy white billionaire Texans portrayed in old west films? Guess Bob McNair is different)
Until we meet again you potential douche bags!
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